Monday, July 5, 2010
SET EM UP JOE
“Set ‘Em up Joe and Play Walking the Floor”
‘I need a shoulder to cry on’
I’m lonesome but I’m happy, I’m rich but I’m broke, I’m just a carefree range riding drifting cowpoke. I’ve been looking for a home on the range, where the cattle roam and the cowboys call home. I had a gal in San Antone that I loved to pieces but she was a two timing woman with a mind of her own. Anyway I understand that she’s somewhere out on the range looking for a cowboy to cow tie and brand. I’m glad to be just a carefree range riding drifting cowpoke, I’d hate to be the cowboy that two timing lady is looking for.
I remember, not long ago, dancing the last waltz with Melinda. We were in a little café, the music was in harmony with the mood, and Melinda and I became lovers. Oh what a magnificent woman she was. I loved her dearly but like quicksilver she slipped right through my fingers and left me with a cold broken heart. Why is it that whenever I fall for a woman I end up breaking the rules, slipping around, looking for hidden places, just to hug and kiss her.
I lost a lovely filly last week, that really hurt my feelings, her hair was red and her eyes were blue and she said she came straight from Kalamazoo, now here was a lady. What a Lady! She broke my heart in so many pieces that it will never be put back together again.
“Set them up Joe, I’m just getting started...fix me a scotch on the rocks and forget the rocks, make it a double.”
The juke box is a playing, I punched all the tear jerker’s I know, and I’m crying tear drops in my ears (it don’t sound logical but I heard it on the juke box, tear drops in the ears...Ha,Ha). I’ve heard some sad, sad love songs and they always make me cry but the saddest words I ever heard were when she said goodbye.
Ya know Joe; I’ll be on the plains herding cattle for weeks on end and the cows love me, they never bitch. Why can’t I hang onto a woman? Tell me Joe, is it because I smell like a cow? God knows I bathe enough, I’ve already had my bath this month and I had two baths last month. City folk don’t bathe that much. Do They? I know that some sheep herders mate with their goats, maybe I should date a cow. I mean a four legged one.
Let me tell you about the lady I met in Arkansas, “Get me another double, will ya please Joe?” anyway, this gal from Arkansas was some looker. Her hair hung clear to the floor and it was as orange as a picnic bonfire. Good golly miss molly, she was as wild as a hungry hog in a blizzard. I really thought she loved me but as it was she loved only ladies. Ain’t that something? I never could figure that one out.
“Joe fill this damn glass to the brim and give me a glass of beer as a chaser?”
Tell me Joe do you think I'm self absorbed, am I over reacting, just what in the hell is the matter with me. God I'm glad you are here, you're so easy to talk to. You'll never know how much I needed a shoulder to cry on. This guy next to me says that love is like a pair of socks that you gotta have two if it's gonna work; ha, ha, if that's true I'm gonna go out and buy a dozen pair, all the ones I have now have holes in them. Two socks with holes will let all the love run through.
Hick!! Where the hells my drink? "Joe where did ya, did you go, I been talking, hick, to myself for the last 15 minutes. Give me one, hick, one for the road, hick, i'm headed out to find the wild women of the west, hiding in the wild windy plains."